


You said you'd keep me honest but I won't call you on it

by PunkPocahontas



Series: Where you can't get what you want but you can get me [2]
Category: Fall Out Boy
Genre: M/M, Pete's a good guy just helping out a weird stranger, i'm sorry i called you bitches, ill shut up now, thats right bitches patrick's the vampire for once, vampire!patrick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-03
Updated: 2015-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-16 02:47:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3471521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PunkPocahontas/pseuds/PunkPocahontas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(of course i used a " a little less 16 candles a little more touch me" lyric as the title! theirs vampires!) </p><p>Person B of your OTP is a vampire. For an urgent reason, they have to go outside, so they take major precautions, namely... using an umbrella and sticking to the shady spots. However, one strong gust of wind blows their umbrella away. Person B stands in the shrinking shade frantically waving at Person A, a passing stranger, to retrieve their umbrella. </p><p>Prompt by otpdisaster on tumblr</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Patrick sighs as he peers into the box of Fruit Loops for the tenth time in the five minutes he has been holding the box. 

Nope. Still no cereal. Fuck why couldn't food faeries exist and magically poof food into his sad barren cupboards? 

" Its not a crazy idea, i mean i'm a fucking vampire! Why not small winged people who give you food!?" he muttered to himself but that didn't change the fact that his stomach could easily out growl him right now. 

Patrick glances outside and sees the sun just beginning to rise, fuck he's so stupid why didn't he get food last night!? oh right he got distracted by the new record store that opened down the street. Patrick groaned into his hands, he has the new Gerard Way album but he can't exactly eat that can he? 

"Its fine." he tells himself "I can wait" 

He couldn't wait. 

Also watching the food network on an empty stomach is the most idiotic thing he has ever done, well other than the time he tested to see if vampires really were allergic to garlic...you can guess what happened there. 

But anyway Patrick now needed to add a new couch to his shopping list. He may or may not have ripped it to shreds when a really in-depth look into how hamburgers were made came on. 

One second he was tightly gripping the leather, the next there was two craters in the couch. Maybe the sun would be going down soon? His watch mocked him showing he only made it half an hour. 

Patrick was going to have to... go outside in the daytime. The thought caused a tremor to pass through him but he had to or destroy his apartment. or god forbid injure someone. No, he wouldn't chance it, he had to go. He put on a jacket over his t-shirt, gloves following them. He pulled his boots over his jeans and readjusted his fedora and glasses before taking a deep breath and grabbing his umbrella. 

One more deep breath and he was rushing out the door before he could change his mind.

****

So far so good. Patrick hasn't turned into dust or bitten anyone... yet. 

As he hopped from one shady spot to the next ignoring the weird looks he received, the wind began to pick up. Patrick should have expected this since he's lived in the windy city his whole life, but what he really didn't expect is when he was a street away from the store that his umbrella would be taken by the wind. 

Patrick let out a shriek and dived for the nearest shady spot which was under the (cork) tree he had been passing. Patrick gripped the tree desperately as the shadow it provided grew smaller. People stared at him strangely but mostly ignored him. Despite his embarrassment, he was terrified of burning up so he began to frantically wave to a tan man with blond hair. 

Patrick didn't expect the man to actually come over so he gripped the tree tighter and uncomfortably buried his face into the bark, praying to God or whoever vampires prayed to. Dracula maybe. 

" Um hey? guy you okay?" 

Patrick quickly jumped away from the tree only to yelp when the sun hit his skin causing him to launch into another hug with the trunk. Tan guy approached Patrick cautiously with his hands raised like Patrick might bite him... well. 

" Myumbrellacanyoupleasegetmyumbrellaplease" Patrick rambled not bothering to breathe since he was gonna die in a minute. 

Tan guy looked around before letting out an "aha" and running over to another tree where Patrick's umbrella hung from a branch. Tan guy gingerly handed the umbrella back to Patrick with a gentle smile and concerned brown eyes. 

Patrick stared at him because he was... beautiful. An astonishing pain brought him out of his trance as the sun grazed his arm. " Shit dude!" Tan guy yelled pulling Patrick from under the tree and under the shade of the umbrella he still held. 

Which was why Patrick and tan guy were now face to face. 

Tan guy grinned but he eyes still looked worried " Hi, I'm Pete" Pete offered a hand to Patrick who had no chance but to shake it 

" Patrick"

" So Patrick, may I ask why you were hugging a tree" Pete questioned and Patrick looked down wishing the other man wasn't still holding his umbrella so he could just run home and eat his arm. 

" I have this disease where its painful to be in the sun" its not a lie really besides why does it matter if he lies to this beautiful stranger, wait what? 

" Oh, I'm sorry man that sucks" Pete says before glancing at his that's clutching the umbrella and clearing his throat 

" sorry I believe this is yours" Pete says handing it back to Patrick with a smile which Patrick takes with a smile of his own. 

" So why did you leave the house at sunniest part of the day if you cant stand the sun?" Patrick's stomach answered for him with a loud snarl. 

" hungry" was Patrick's answered even though it was kinda unnecessary. 

" Well Patrick, if you wanna you can come get some pizza with me, I know the best place!" Patrick stared at the man, eyes wide because Pete wanted to go out with him, HIM! 

" Um yeah sure but um I've lived here my whole life so I think I know the best pizza place" Pete grinned widely at Patrick  
" Is that a challenge, 'trick?"  
" Is that a nickname, Peter"  
" So we are using full names as punishments now"  
" haha I guess so"  
" well then come on 'trick" 

Pete says holding out his hand which I take. 

God I'm so glad I waited well except for needing a new couch but he's might've just earned a new boyfriend so really its sooo worth it. 

As they begin their stroll, hands intertwined, Patrick's mind decides it's a good time to remind him of his condition. 

well shit Patrick is utterly fucked and not in the way he hoped would happen with the hot tan man.


	2. Pete is an innocent child who does not understand supernatural concepts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pete has all the clues just can't put them together the poor thing

( Pete's POV)

As Patrick and Pete reached the pizza shop, Patrick let out a sigh causing Pete to look at him with concern. 

" Did i pick wrong! Oh shit maybe he hates the pizza here! Stupid Wentz! you might be messing up your only chance with Patrick!!" Pete cursed himself in his head. 

" I owe you a slice of pizza man" Patrick complained leaving Pete confused. 

" Huh?" Patrick just laughed and placed his umbrella with the others before smiling at Pete " This is the best pizza place" Pete grinned like a manic and led Patrick to a booth in a dark corner. Patrick blushed at Pete's kindness and began to order. 

" Can i have chicken salad please?" the bored waitress nodded before glancing at Pete " two slices of pepperoni pizza please!" he crowed causing the waitress the glare and walk away

" She's totally gonna spit in our food now" Patrick groaned  
" Well at least i actually got pizza" Pete threw back  
" Yeah well i-i am sorta allergic to g-garlic so i didn't want to take a chance" Patrick stuttered, his head down looking like he was about ready to book it out the door.  
" oh poor 'trick! You can't go out in the sun or eat garlic! that sucks major ass!" Pete exclaimed causing a few stares

Patrick just stared at Pete with surprise and confusion, he shakes his head and mutters " wow that's not what I was expecting"  


"What were you expecting?" Pete asks cocking (hehe cock sorry) his head to the side like a confused beagle  


" Mostly torches and pitchforks," Patrick says in a bitter tone before staring again in shock at a confused Pete. 

" Wow you seriously not getting this are you?" Patrick shakes his head. " anyway, what do you do for a living?" 

Pete's still lost but answers anyway " Oh i work part time at a rectory" and jumps when Patrick's clunks his head against the table groaning. 

" What are you atheist?" Pete asks and Patrick answers with a muffled " sorta" which leads Pete to panic and ramble on. 

" Well that's cool! i'm not religious either i just really needed the job" Patrick nodded his head. 

" that's not the problem, its just ironic that's all" Pete was seriously lost but their food arrived so he gratefully dug in. 

Food was never confusing but also food wasn't sexy like Patrick so. 

Also there's the fact it is still illegal to marry pizza. Damn. but truth be told he would never look at a slice of pizza again if it meant marrying Patrick. 

******

After we walk back to Patrick's apartment, grocery bags in hand, Pete reaches over and kisses Patrick who eagerly kisses back before pulling back. Pete whines and Patrick rolls his eyes and slaps a hand over his mouth. 

" listen Pete i like you but there's something i have to tell you" Pete nods and lets out a muffled okay. 

" Now this would be easier if you caught on before... butimavampiredonttellanyonecausetheyprobablywillkillme" 

It must be nine in the afternoon because Pete's eyes are the size of the moon. 

Patrick not thinking Pete believes him bares his fangs and hisses for good measure. Pete pulls Patrick's hand away from his mouth and screeches. 

" HOLY SHIT!" and Patrick's ready to run when Pete continues " IT ALL MAKES SO MUCH SENSE NOW!" and Patrick is so relieved that he doesn't even bother with a sarcastic comment and drags a grinning and babbling Pete into his apartment instead.


End file.
